it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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