well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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