I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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