He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
