Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize