It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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