I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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