i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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