Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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