She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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