you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
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My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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