So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
