Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
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