All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
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It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
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Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
This can only be settled by a dance off.