....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.