I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
