Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
