i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
