Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
