matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
