We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
