All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I got inside last night via doggy door
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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