eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
