just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?