Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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