I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
