dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
