brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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