Im at strip club and am horny
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
