Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
