Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
