Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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