It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
