Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
