just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
