he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
