Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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