Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
