so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
