Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
No I am not eating basil off your cock
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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