Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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