remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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