As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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