i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
