The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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