after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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