Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
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