Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
