Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
