She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
