You can't special order awesome
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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