Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
