I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
