Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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