I didn't shave. On purpose
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
