you would pick up someone in the library
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
