would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
