i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize