her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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